“Have You Heard? He Is…”

*Originally posted March 14th 2018*

Welcome to this platform. I cannot say that this is a sign of things to come, but I hope that you plan on sticking around.

My name is Luca. I’m 25 years of age and I work in the health and fitness industry. I like to think that I have been fortunate enough to grow up with an open mind and a loving heart; something that I am very proud of and continue to work on. I’ve also had my sexuality questioned for over ten years and just as recently as last week, heard the sentence that both plagues my mind and breaks my heart.

After catching up with a friend of mine, I found out that a mutual “friend” had asked them, “Have you heard that Luca is gay? He came out to our family.” Initially, I laughed off the fact that, as a grown man, I would be expected to disprove such a huge identifier for most men. Sexuality. After thinking about it more, I not only questioned why did it matter to them, but I also asked myself whether I would eventually put to rest a rumour that crushed my confidence and spirit from the age of 13.

It’s truly a blessing to enjoy the life that I live now with the love I am able to give to those around me, irrespective of skin colour, gender, or social status. I have learned that you cannot reach or connect with someone that you do not care to understand. This now drives my life where I feel comfortable being affectionate, caring, and unapologetically myself. This is something I would hope and want for any person. The one thing it also has led to for me is that lingering question: men or women? It’s something that has been asked by both men and women, yet only two men can answer this. God and me.

This question is usually expected to be met with disgust, outrage, and anger. How dare they challenge my masculinity?! I’ll let you know the two thoughts/emotions that actually come to my fabulous mind.

I am both intrigued and saddened that this conversation wasn’t left in the early 2000s where it had already aged terribly (much like my hairline). Does it truly matter in 2018 what someone’s sexuality is? Did I miss the memo on putting the hero in hetero? How many more amazing men are going to have to come out for people to realise that maybe, just maybe, being gay is okay? It’s clear to see that we have some distance to travel on this.

Whether it was before my first kiss, the first time that I had sex, or this present day, to know that my private life (the key word being private) and the intimate details of it are still spoken about over the past ten years still leads to me questioning what it will take for everyone to simply leave me to live my love life in peace? At the very least, is it too much to ask people who have entered my life in the past to have the decency to ask me personally if they care so much?

I know that this would be the perfect time to provide you with an answer to the question of whether I am actually gay or straight. For those of you who really care about that answer, you’ll have to keep your eyes peeled on my story as it continues to be told.

If you need something to do in the meanwhile, I invite you to live your own life and to keep my name out of your mouth.

Thank you for your time. I really appreciate it.

Love Luca x.

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